I am going shopping, are you coming? I am sure you won´t deny this is one of the most desirable PLEASURES of us women, since the  use of reason.. It seems like yesterday, when I was 5 or 6 years old, and I used to hide in my mother´s wardrobe.. I simply loved to put my little feet in her high hill shoes, play around with them and feel like an adult! 

Let´s go shopping!

Going back to the gender´s theme, without any type of discrimination,  THE OBSERVATIONAL LEARNING PROCESS is the one that creates behavioural patterns you will then repeat in your future life. Unless you live in a family constituted by open minded parents, since the early ages, girls are taught to play with “ girly stuff” like dolls, little houses, make up kit, while boys with “boyish stuff” like football, cars, trailers, ride bicycles..

Of course there are exceptions and without going very far, I always loved playing with colorful dresses and looking myself in the mirror, but on the other side, I was not very keen in dolls, even though for Christmas I used to received many different ones, not having asked for them at all. As a  result of all this, we can easily  say that the number of men who enjoy going shopping is very limited as the number of fingers in our hands.. 

“The model´s walk momentum”

Can you believe that my unstoppable desire of GOING SHOPPING, has recently completelychanged , with my great amazement. I am still fascinated by lovely garments, piece of furniture to decorate my home; I still enjoy the beauty, what is elegantly made, the pleasure in all the potential combinations of styles, textures, of this thing with that one and yet thinking  “I have just fallen in love with that sofa or that handbag”.  Or I feel simply delighted at the look of one of my home´s corner after I have changed around the location of all the furniture.

Live the  ENCHANTING MOMENT; when you are in front of the mirror, giving yourself compliments, appreciating and liking yourself; it is a very HEALTHY HABIT. I strongly recommend it to you. Take off all THOSE SELF-SABOTAGING AND LIMITING THOUGHTS. This is the moment I baptised, when I was much younger,  as “ the model´s walk momentum” 

“I, me, with myself”

Back to shopping. I do not know if the same  happens to you but I still love going shopping alone. It is a moment I enjoy very much, telling “ I, me, with myself” , deciding what I take and what I leave. I am comfortable going with others too, do not take me wrong. It is still very pleasant, but somehow we feel forced to come out from the changing room and ask “ what do you think, does it fit me well ?”

Here come the opinions…and ..each one is very personal. Even though the  choice is very clear in your mind you may have to deal with various of your friend´s comments , which at times can result inopportune too, before being able to joy the queue to pay. In general we can feel very confident with ourselves, yet sometimes, strange ideas go round and round in our head, like : I think I have not looked at myself properly  in the mirror as I could seen a bottom which can cause an heart attack, it is really so big?

The first impression is the one that counts

A great opportunity to be objective and to tell yourself: “ the first impression is the one that counts…whatever  follows, is me staying in front of the bedroom´s mirrow and the mirror giving me one of these answers: you are amazing!  The other a bit less pleasant “ Jesus Christ, how could I possibly buy this!

Is THE EUPHORIA of the moment, that way of feeling high, which at times is almost forcing you to drown your sorrows in the shopping´s act. It is more than proved, that there are few things able to produce such an increase in your WELLBEING HORMONES and so fast like those triggered by SHOPPING.

It does not matter if they are clothes, shoes, a car or all the weekly magazines about home decoration, it is like a refuge, a haven, a purchase that creates INSTANT PLEASURE, served on a tray with the color you most like. It is that feeling of walking down the street like “ pretty woman” with your fingers on the verge of gangrene for all those bags, that strong urge to arrive home quickly to try them on ..SHOW THEM OFF for the first time, and not only the clothes but those new FEELINGS, new EMOTIONS, that smell of somenthing new, a new beginning, a SUPRISE.

Dressed with happiness

Let us fully enjoy it, why not! Everything is healthy, as long as balanced. The only condition, from my point of view, from my high shoes, is to leave home already DRESSED WITH HAPPINESS. Shopping should add multiple satisfactions on top of the one we already have and not be an happiness only derived in fuction of the shopping.

Here the order of the factors is very important because if you alter it, the result is definetly another. I took me a few spring´s seasons to assimilate the concept but now I can write about it with total clarity: enjoy fully everything this material world is offering without any type of limit, feeling you are DRESSED WITH HAPPINESS before reaching the changing room.

What could be another meaning of this amazing material experience if not experiencing everything our soul long for?

Enjoy the shopping! ?

I wake up; an amazing morning here in Sevilla, an unbelievable mild temperature for being August, we could easily think we are in October. I am enyoing this rare fresh weather so much as this is so, so unsual for this time of the year. I start with my daily rituals, which I change sometimes, just to avoid falling into a routine; I have breakfast, meditate, read…but today, I run full of illusions, to my laptop. These are the effects of a film I saw a couple of days ago which got into my mind much more than I would have expected it. I give you a brief idea of what it was about; I do not even remember well the title, but it is a futuristic movie, actually more present than we think…a world contained inside what is defined as civilisation, whatever is outside its limits is to be considered uncertain, unsafe, unpredictable, totally in contrast with a predictable existence, free from surprises, dull but safe.

Evolution or involution?

Everybody, men and women, wear an uniform, trousers and jacket immaculate white. Everything is as it can be expected; people are living a superficial and peaceful life under the strictest control. Everyone is part of THE LARGE HERD, everyone is productive, everyone lives in a flat that has been perfectly designed and is fully automated.  Interestingly everyone is part of an homogeneous society, enjoying, the so called feeling of belonging but apparently taken to its extreme. I say apparently for the simple fact they are living in a society and yet feeling absolutely alone.  Apart from working togehter they have very little social life, little appetite, only few goals and zero personal desire:  a REGRESSIVE society, PROGRAMMED to be totally productive for the comunity. Paradoxically  a comunity which is more than EVOLVED, and totally TECHONOLOGICAL. Does this image sound somehow familiar to you?

I refrain from giving an aswer to the question, simply to avoid indulging in demagoguery, to put more wood on the fire, a fire that lately has become something more than suffocating.

What would you say is the common denominator  in the society presented in this movie?

For me, without any trace of doubt, is the total absence of emotions. Once the emotions have been supressed then people would accept to do what is best for the comunity. Chain work, executed in a robotic way, this is the result for being very well educated academic human beings.  

Black sheep

On the other side of the coin, and it could not be different, our protagonist couple is proud to prove …”  that love and emotions always prevail…” even though they are considered weird, the famous black sheep and defined as divergent. They are the ones who break the rules of the system.  They are encouraged to be vaccinated to keep under control “the evil caused by emotions”. An evolving society, going where and for what purposes? Is there a spiritual purpose in a society where one does not even think there is a soul? The best word that comes into my mind to reply to all these overwhelming queries is INVOLUTION. Have  we not realised yet that those futuristic movies, we considered fantastic and far away from the reality, are actually already here, in this precise moment, knocking at our door as crude facts?

Yes to evolution and technology, but not at any cost

I am totally in favour of  progress, technology and evolution, of course I am, but in a conscientius way and NOT at any cost. What about freedom, our voice, the right to vote to allow it to myself and  allow it to you? Keeping our mouth shut, meaning it literally, is not the solution and this is why I open it and express my personal opinion.  Who knows if this is the solution;  allowing the world to be held  in the hands of a small powerful group, able to lead the people however they feel like, through fears and repression. I would encourage God, Hallah, Buddha and the whole  Universe to come down to earth to tell me towards what type of evolution is this world leading us to.

I am feeling  exactly in the same way you can perceive me through these lines, totally on fire. This movie has awaken my unflattering vision of our reality; obbey, even by force, even though you do not understand it, even without feeling it, it is an abolute thruth, and if you dare moving a millimiter out of the queue be ready to be punished and judged.

Let us react my dear fellow travellers and  put some light to this nonsense.

How we feel and how we would like to feel

The first step is to become aware of how we feel and how we would like to feel. A first step would be  to recognize  that our senses are alienated and numb…I invite you to remove your labels from your head and say openly where you want to go, right from your conscience. Let us balance the following. Is it worth evolving in such a way? If we were to follow this road, it would be advisable to revisit the meaning of the word evolution outlined in the dictionary.

What ever it might be it is extremely important to know “where you are standing, where the boat is heading and knowingly all things with their proper name…”  While we choose to be aware, the evolution and development of the species is our responsibility. While we choce to be asleep, which is another option to choose from, we will live our life like puppets, like a ship without a master, being  in involution and despite having a lot to say we opted to keep quiet.

The simple fact to reflect about it is the first step toward the conquest of happiness, in a futuristic world that has come to stay. The choice is yours.

?

Today, my dear friend, I propose we see life under a new perspective .  I sit down comfortably,ready to write this post with the clear idea to focus on this topic as if we were playing a game.  Maybe it will help to make this controversial and sensitive subject a bit easier. Be prepared  to use some fundamental ingriedients: a profound ENGAGEMENT with your deep self and massive dosis of HONESTY. On this occasion, it would be very interesting if  we could  go further than our usual weekly reflextions which ,I hope, are still beneficial for both of us, nurturing and enriching us at a  personal level. The aim of this space we share is to encourage you, the reader, to reach your own conclusions.

I challenge you to take off everything in front of a mirror..yes, yes, you have read it correctly; an unsual exercise but UNDRESSING THE BODY AND THE SOUL goes hand in hand.

Free or a slave to…?

Have you ever stopped and thought how often YOU DO THINGS THAT IN REALITY YOU DO NOT WANT TO DO,  and how often YOU GIVE UP THINGS YOU ACTUALLY LIKE ?

Let us put these two facts together and ask the one million dollars question: Be totally SINCERE with yourself, do you consider yourself FREE OR A SLAVE TO SOMENTHING ?

Someone of you will be thinking: “well sometimes I see myself obliged by the circumstances  and there is no much I can do about it…” pehaps, some others will be thinking “ in this life you have to be part of the system, like it or not”.  Of course I agree with you: there are circumstances that require to BE PART OF THE SYSTEM but there are many others where you should GET OUT WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE AND AT YOUR CONVENIENCE TOO.

The era of addictions

It depends on the SITUATION:  a party, a job,  a celebration; we go to our wardrobe and decide :a skirt or trousers?  Depending on the people we are hanging out with, we can find ourselves DRINKING more than planned, just to fit in and not be the one saying no, when someone of the group shouts out..come on this is the last… before the last”. I live in the south of Spain and this behaviour is very much of a HABIT here. We have made of this a NORMALITY and the limits have gone well beyond, unsupectedly.  THE WORLD IS UPSIDE DOWN, in such a way that who does not drink alcohol, does not smoke, does not gamble or does not spend the whole day gossiping in the socials or is not dressing in the latest fashion, is out of phase, haggard.  On the other side of the scale, we find those who take the healthy life stile to the extremes..hours and hours of practice accompanied by a very strict diet .   From my humble poin of view we are witnessing THE ERA OF ADDICTIONS, we believe we are enjoying our freedom more than ever before, but in reality we are slaves, part of a MEANINGLESS world, leading to insanity.

WE ANAESTHETIZE OUR SENSES to gain full acces to the supposed comfort zone, where we believe we have everything under control. How am I not going to do it,  if everyone does it?..if I am not in line with the top I am a looser!

In the balance you find virtue and equilibrium

Useless to say it, IN THE BALANCE you find virtue and equilibrium, yes my dear friends, everything  done in MODERATION,  WITHOUT THE MASK ON AND WITH THE CLEAR ABILITY  TO FEEL OUR EMOTIONS.

To give you a tangible example, very often, when we give up SMOKING we replace it with” an arm robbery” to our food storage.  If we stop DRINKING alcohol we feel like out of place when socialising, is tougher to “break the ice” or we miss that idea “ now I am going to chill out”.

Without even realising it we have created a HABIT, from the habit a NECESSITY and from it an ADDICTION.  Having reached this point, I believe is very important to define this substantive, in order to clarify the negative connotations it carries. In the dictionary, the word addiction is defined as A REPETITIVE BEHAVIOUR OR CONSTANT CONSUME OF CERTAIN SUBSTANCES THAT CANNOT BE STOPPED OR IS NOT EASY TO BE STOPPED, DUE TO A PHISYCAL OR MENTAL DEPENDENCY ON IT/THEM.

Let us not deceive ourselves when we say “ I can give up drinking alcohol whenever I want..”  “ I have it under control” “ what a nonsense, I have only played three times with the gambling machine this week”…” I love challenges, this week I am going to take 8 sessions of spinning…this is definetly “more healthy” than getting drunk”…and we could carry on with many more examples.

I would like to add another important part to the definition of addiction; our brain, our central system, the one that CLAIMS ITS REWARD, ITS DOSIS OF WELLBEING, through substances or behaviours; here and now we realise our body is only a humble and obedient slave.

The choice is always yours

Now that you are in front of the mirror totally naked , no clothes and no mask ,ask yourself, saying it out loud:  “am I free or a slave? “ THE CHOICE is always yours. Be the MASTER of your decision, from your clear conscience, your real being. Recognise yourself with open eyes, remember there is nothing good or bad, apart from the anihilation of your own FREEDOM. Practise this exercise from the deepest of your honesty and find out if you LOVE OR MISTREAT YOURSELF.  Maybe you need to recognise your ADDICTION TO SUFFERING and believe me, in one way or another, this is the most common addiction among us, human beings. But once we have reached this point, then we are in the right track, towards OUR SELF LOVE AND WORTHINESS.

Here I take leave and I  wish you ,from the bottom of my soul, that you will find the courage to walk the most important path of our existence, the one of SELF-KNOWLEDGE.

?